Archive for the ‘Cat Tails’ Category

The Pot Speaks

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

The other day I found myself with assorted things in the refrigerator that needed to be used up, and decided the best way to do it was to make soup. I have tended to fill a soup pot to the point that any sort of starchy liquid will overflow, so this time I went after a bigger pot. To be specific, I pulled out my big stock pot.

Now I have become accustomed to washing my pots, mixing bowls, etc. before I use them as well as after. My house is anything but rodent-proof, and while my organic self resetting mouse traps do their best, they’re more likely to dispatch the invaders after they’ve come out through the kitchen cabinets than before. All three girls are excellent mousers, but I digress. Anyway, I had the sink all ready tp wash the pot as soon as it was out.

The big soup pot usually lives at the far back of a very deep cabinet, so other pots don’t end up stacked in it. You might imagine my surprise when I grabbed the handle and lifted to find that it had definite weight. It’s a heavy stainless steel pot, but it doesn’t weigh ten pouns. So instead of lifting, I pulled, sliding it toward the front of the cabinet.

The pot protested.

It said “Mrouw?”

I pulled it the rest of the way out to find the pot a bit less than half full of black cat. Tornado had curled up comfortably in the bottom, and was blinking at me as I pulled her cozy bed out into the light. Hmm. Leek, mushroom and cat soup was not what I had planned.

That pot was at the far back wall of that cabinet, as were my dutch oven and double boiler. The one nearest the entry is the double boiler. She had to step through it, but it was too small for her to curl up in comfortably. Next to it was the dutch oven. She likely curled up in it for a bit as well, but it is a wide pot and she is a smallish cat. The last one was stock pot.

I must say, she did fit perfectly.

I should start calling her Goldilocks.

Too Smart For My Own Good.

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Cat. Brain the size of a walnut, right? Doesn’t speak English, or for that matter any other human language? Uh-HUH. Right.

I’ve been trying, with notable lack of success, to retrain Sophia to refrain from scratching my chair when she wants out. Pat the door, or stretch against it as her daughter does, fine, but leave my chair intact. So a few days ago, I squirted her with the Spray Bottle of Doom when her first level request to be let out involved a discussion between her claws and my chair. She ran off a few steps and glared at me as only a cat can glare.

“Look” I told her in frustration. “I know you don’t like that, but I don’t like having the chair clawed. If you want to go out, meow. I’ll be happy to open the door for you.” Then I opened the door and let her out, laughing a little at myself for talking to a cat as if she spoke English.

Well…..the next time she was in and wanted the door opened, she walked up to the foot of my chair, stopped about 2 feet back from the door, and mewed quietly. When I didn’t notice, she did not unlimber her claws, she simply meowed again, somewhat louder and much more imperiously. I remembered the “conversation”, and opened the door.

Next day it went on. She came out from behind my chair, out of my line of sight, and mewed. Then she went to the door and waited. Came into the bedroom, gave the same distinctive “meOUT“, and when I stood up (I’d been reading in bed), led me to the door. My chair and her claws have met only once since I asked her to make her wishes known vocally. She has also turned around and walked away when she asked and I looked down and told her it was still cold out. I haven’t squirted her either, nor even had to threaten it.

So while I am still sure she doesn’t speak English, I’m starting to wonder if that isn’t due mostly to lack of suitable vocal apparatus. I am also reminded that there is a difference between speaking Human and understanding it.

She is a cat. I can see clearly that there isn’t room for a whole lot of cerebration in that skull. That clearly doesn’t prevent her from being too smart for my own good.

Wherein My Cat Fails Physics

Friday, March 5th, 2010

Dearest Fluffbrain,

If you want me to fill that bowl, get your furry face out of it.

prrip?

Yes, Cloud, I am talking to you. Kitty food will not go through a kitty head. The bone is solid, even if there is nothing but fluff inside it.

prrrreow?

Yes, of course I still love you. You’re my sweet cuddly calico babygirl. But the fact remains that you have, if anything, more fluff on the inside of your little head than on the outside of it.

Never mind. Enjoy your breakfast.

Love,

The Self Propelled Food Dispenser.

The Local Entertainment

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

As has been often observed in this blog, Miss Cloud is quite the clown.   She ran true to form when I decided to practice my camera skills on her.  It’s a new camera, one which my friend Rana helped me choose.  (Thanks, Rana!)  This included investigating the wrist strap even as I attempted to focus on her.

“Watcha doin’, Mommy?

About Time…..

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

My mom made a comment about not knowing what my cats looked like. So in order to remedy that, I’ll be snapping photos of them as they consent to hold still for it. Tornado posed first, so here she is.

Now what, Mom?”

Such Style! Such Grace! Such….

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

Dear Miss Cloud,

Please don’t give me dirty looks for laughing at you. I couldn’t help it. You looked like Dick Van Dyke doing that signature roll over the ottoman during the opening of the show.

I do know what you were trying to do. You were trying to jump on the bed, as you’ve done several hundred times before. You gave your little chirruping trill of warning, wriggled your patchwork quilt design butt, and leapt – and almost missed. So you grabbed the quilt with your claws and kicked off with those strong back legs again. Trouble is, you overcompensated and arrived on the bed in a classic somersault, rolling tail over nose and arriving on your back.

I know, I wasn’t even supposed to notice the manner of your arrival, let alone laugh out loud. I couldn’t help it. It was so magnificently klutzy.

Grace, thy name is not Cloud.

Attention: Rodent Control Team

Saturday, August 29th, 2009

1. Please stop playing with the mice so much that you let them get away. There are several reasons for this.

  • Cleaning up mousie remains when they die in places they can access but you cannot is difficult and unpleasant at best.
  • The frantic squeaking at 3:00 a.m. is extremely disruptive of human sleep.
  • It is disconcerting to know that there was a mousie, but that we don’t know where it went or what condition it was in.

2. Once Mommy has found the tiny baby mousie that escaped you (it was hiding in the laundry, ladies) and captured it in a glass, it is no longer yours. It is mine, to dispose of as I see fit. If you can find it after I’ve dumped it out in the soybean field, you may catch and eat it, but I am not giving you the chance to lose it again!

Human readers: I know the most effective method of mouse disposal would have been to introduce the wee beastie to our septic system, but I just can’t do that to something that’s looking up at me.

A Day In Haste

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Some days move too fast to do more than note the high(?) points.  Yesterday was like that.

  • Box arrived bearing large Lego kit, a gift for my son.  Opened box.  Son began screaming in delight: “yes, Yes, YES, YES, YES!while dancing madly around the kitchen.  When shrieking and attendant maternal laughter slowed down, called to thank grandparents for gift.  Son managed the call with restraint and dignity, then went back to dancing.  Babbled about new kit for half an hour before he actually calmed down enough to, oh, say, open it? (Note: next morning, greeted the day with more thoughts on the wonderfulness of the kit. *grin*)
  • Mid-morning temps in the mid 70s made a perfect day to go ride my newly tuned and adjusted bike.  Removed bike from garage.
  • Heard plaintive laments from roofed cat.  Sophia, this time – usually it’s Tornado (sometimes multiple times in any given day.  Up tree = fun.  Down tree, not so much.)  Went in to retrieve Sophia via attic window.  Cloud got behind me, then jumped blithely out window using nearest human shoulder for springboard.
  • Now two cats on roof.  Sophia came to me two minutes after Cloud’s escape.  Cloud took another 40 minutes or so to coax in, finally lured by opening can of cat food in her sight.  Came to sniff and was duly nabbed.
  • Actually took bike ride, with boychild jogging alongside.  Temps now in low 80s and muggy.  Fortunately bike creates own breeze.
  • Came in, drank water, took shower.
  • While drying off from shower, heard prolonged and alarming thumping from kitchen.  Shouted inquiry as to cause.   Son’s response: “I’m trying to climb the wall.  I can’t do it.  I guess I need climbing equipment.”  Boy was serious.  Eeek!  Mr. Literal was trying to enact common figure of speech.
  • Took wall-climbing boy swimming as suitable outlet for energy.  Listened to chatter about wonders of new kit and plans for same for duration of drive.
  • Came home, listening to chatter about wonders of new kit and plans for same for duration of drive.
  • Greeted husband on return from overnight trip.
  • Talked to friend.
  • Mommy fall down go boom.

Who Needs Words?

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

Not my cats, certainly.

Miss Cloud, who is not allowed outside, has suddenly taken to ducking past ankles at every opportunity to attempt to explore the Tall Grass Jungle and Land of New Smells. Today when she did that, her sister Tornado was out as well. Now, those two can’t manage a civil conversation at the best of times, and Tornado, experienced outdoorswoman that she is, decided it would be fun to give Cloud a hard time. So every time Cloud stopped to sniff something, Tornado would bounce at her, stopping just short of pouncing on her when Cloud jumped away. The problem is that she was doing that as I was trying to walk calmly up to Cloud with intent to pick her up and return her to the safety of the house.

After the fourth time I got close, only to have Tornado startle Cloud into running away again, I looked down at the little black cat looking up at me. “Tornado” I told her “you aren’t helping.” She sat down on her little butt, blinked at me, and said “Mreow?” with an unmistakable cat-smirk. Then she got up, chased Cloud one last time, and sauntered off with a glance over her shoulder at me.

The next time I tried to get to Cloud and pick her up, I was able to without any problem. I’m not sure, though, whether Tornado’s commentary translated best as “So?” or “And your point is?” I don’t suppose it much matters what the English is, though. The sentiment was clear enough in the original Cat.

Speaking of Cats

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

Every so often I really listen to myself and hear my own habits of speech. The way I speak of my cats is a perfect case in point. Ever since Cloud stood on my hand and hissed defiance at the two adult cats, I’ve referred to Tornado and Sophia collectively as “the big girls”. Our son will come in from school and inquire as to the whereabouts of the cats, to be told “Both the big girls are out, and Cloud is on the bathroom windowsill.” Or at bedtime, I will find myself telling him “I don’t know where the big girls are. Can you make do with the baby-girl?” (It’s a make-do because Miss Cloud won’t stay to cuddle until he falls asleep. Sophia is the best about that.)

So my grey-scale cats are “the big girls”, despite the fact that Cloud is a quarter again bigger than either Tornado or Sophia. And since I don’t see myself changing the verbal habit any time soon, I suspect they always will be.