Tales from the Shark Tank

There’s a meme out I’ve been avoiding for years.  It requires that one post seven things most people don’t know about you.  So having not been tagged by Dorothea (because she is kind and does not tag people), and feeling lazy enough that this saves me much thinking, here we have my

Seven Things:

1.  I can’t knit.  I can’t seem to learn to knit beyond the very basics of knit and purl.  I’ve tried times beyond number, but the patterns simple enough that they don’t confuse me bore me.  I can, on the other hand, crochet without need of pattern and sew anything I can see, so I don’t find my inability to knit to particularly be a lack.

2.  I learned to bake bread from my grandmother.  She taught herself from her American Jewish Cookbook first, expressly so that she could teach me, so we essentially learned together.  I also learned the attitude that learning goes on forever from that.

3.   When most flustered, I have been known to mix French, Spanish, and Russian into a single sentence.  ( I was lost in Montreal, and the passers-by I stopped to ask directions of wouldn’t speak English to me.  So I started to stumble through my request in my extremely minimal French, got even more flustered, and not only tripped over my tongue, I did it in three languages.  When they stopped laughing, they didn’t just give me directions; they escorted me.)

4.  The only reason scary movies no longer give me nightmares is that I flatly refuse to watch them.

5.  I love maps, especially old maps that let me see how political boundries have changed.

6.  I love chocolate and almond together, but can’t abide chocolate and hazelnut.  (No Nutella for me, thank you.)

7.  Despite the way I sing now, until I was about 13, I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

I’m like Dorothea; I don’t tag people.  If you want to play, consider yourself tagged.

Wonderful husband:  “The cats are really getting desperate.  They’re starting to come to me and purr.”

I wonder what the next sign of the apocalypse will be?

I was describing my son’s behavior to my friend with the comment that there didn’t seem to be much “impending” about adolescence.

“Congratulations” said she.  “He’s about to become an appetite, a coma, and an attitude with legs.”

*When I was a teenager, someone (I think my aunt) tried to explain puberty to my then 6 year old cousin.  Somewhat later, she said “Mom says you’re going through pubertory.”  Note that “Purgatory” is a strictly Christian concept, and we aren’t and have never been Christian.

Dad’s gone.

He went into hospice Monday afternoon, and was gone by Wednesday evening.  They did a good job of keeping him comfortable, and he was awake and alert Monday evening, when I was there.  My cousins have called with memories of their uncle, and all arrangements are made.  If you want details, e-mail me, please.  I don’t want to publish them here.

I’m mostly ok; while the last week was a wild ride indeed, he’d been ill enough, long enough, that it wasn’t a huge shock, at least to me.  Not fun, but not really a surprise, either.  Mom seems to be holding up, but honestly I’m not sure if I’m reading her right or if I’m not seeing what’s under my nose.

I’m staying with friends, as usual; Mom really doesn’t have room.  And the house is very quiet; even their cats are asleep.  Now seems like a good time to start outlining, because I’ll have to say something coherent next Wednesday.  I can do that; somehow I always manage to speak when I need to.  Dad’s story is ending; this is the epilogue.  I guess my next job is to fill in the story for those who weren’t there to see it.

The very short form of what’s going on is that when the docs went to figure out why Dad’s bloodwork was more wildly out of whack than could be accounted for by pneumonia and sepsis, they figured out he has a fairly rare and aggressive form of leukemia.  So now the question isn’t so much whether to let him go, but how and when.  It’s not a matter of “sooner or later”, it’s a matter of “soon or sooner”.

Thank heaven for good friends.  Even if my husband has to take care of our kidling, I don’t have to get through this alone.

My dad’s on life support.  He went in last night.  I’m headed south now.

Our neighbors have an ATV for each teen-to-adult member of the family.  (For those unfamiliar, that’s essentially a 3 or 4-wheeled motorcycle that is designed to go through off-road conditions.)  My usual take on the things is that they’re obnoxious, noisy, dangerous and generally serve no more useful purpose than to create yet another way for those with more daring than sense to win Darwin Awards.

However, they also have a snow-plow attachment for one of the little monsters.  Any time we get more than an inch or two, D. is out there on his ATV, plowing their driveway.  It needs it, too; it’s about a city block long.  And when he’s done with it, he heads over and clears ours.  We’ve never asked him to; he just does it.

Best use for an ATV I can think of.  And yet again, I am thanking my stars that when we acquired neighbors, they turned out to be such great ones.

I just went back into the administrivia pages to check something about an earlier post and realized that my New Year’s Day post was entry number 1000 in this collection of random verbiage.  I started this to get myself writing.  I’d say it succeeded.  I hope it’s provided my intrepid readers some amusement and food for thought along the way as well.

I committed an act of spaciness last Wednesday.  In a hurry to get my last 3 hours of CLE credit, I registered for an online seminar on a topic I knew I had use for.  Well, I was right – so right that I realized a few minutes into the video that I’d already seen that seminar by video at one of the in-person presentations.  So I quick-bunny registered for another and watched it through, thus assuring that the entire 18 hours I needed were accomplished.  I may not use my licesne often, but darned if I’m letting it lapse.

So come today, the first business day after my little goof, I called the sponsors and asked if a refund would be possible.  I rather expected to get some argument, or to be told it would be applied to a future seminar.  No such thing.  I left voice mail explaining what I’d done and asking a refund, and ten minutes later had a call back that it was done, and should be showing up on my credit card statement.  Quick, simple, and good natured.  Would that all my surprises were that pleasant.

I’m feeling terribly lazy, so I am stealing this list of questions shamelessly from my friends Rana and Dorothea.  Happy New Year, all.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Went to a writer’s workshop.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Some I did, some I didn’t.  I really only have one in mind for this year: to exercise at least every other day.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not that I can think of at the moment.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No.

5. What countries did you visit? None.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 which you lacked in 2008? A life with minimal stress and drama, not only for myself but for those whom I love.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched in your memory, and why? June 1, 2008.  I had the privilege of performing the wedding ceremony of two of my closest friends, whom I had introduced to each other before we moved.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Keeping some portion of my sanity.

9. What was your biggest failure? My housekeeping, or lack thereof.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No more than usual.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My new sewing machine!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My husband’s and son’s.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A judge whom I have never met in person, which is fortunate for her.

14. Where did most of your money go? Rent, food, bills, about like usual.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The wedding I did in June.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? I can’t think of one.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer? About the same, a bit fatter, about the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing. I’m going to try to fix that in 2009.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being a lump.

20. How will you be spending New Year’s? Quietly at home.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? I couldn’t say.  Sometimes it feels like I spend my life on the phone.  Now, Instant Messenger?  My friend K., no contest.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008? Yep. With my husband, every day.

23. How many one night stands in this last year? See 22, above.

24. What was your favorite TV program? We don’t have TV reception, even local channels.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Yes.

26. What was the best book(s) you read? The Sharing Knife:  Passage

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Irish Kings

28. What did you want and get? An incredible, wonderful birthday weekend.

29. What did you want and not get? A girl’s long weekend with my friend K.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Not having seen a grown-up’s movie, no comment.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn? Got together with people I love, got “fartessa’d” (don’t ask) and 50.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having more energy.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Do jeans and t-shirts constitute a fashion concept?

34. What kept you sane? My friends.  You know who you are.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Guh? I dunno.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The election.

37. Whom did you miss? My maternal grandparents.

38. Who was the best new person you met? The new next door neighbor.   They bought the land adjoining ours and built a house on it.  So we’re no longer entirely isolated, but that’s ok.  They’re lovely people, and have kids for my son to play with.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. How to say no and make it stick.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

The world is a circle without a beginning

And nobody knows where it really ends.

Everything depends on where you

Are in the circle that’s spinning around.

Half of the time we are up-side down.

–The World is a Circle, from Shangri-La