New Year’s eve seems a good time to resurface here. Actually, the problem has been an shortage of web access and of time. I decided to stay in Indy with Joseph after Christmas, because I couldn’t face the notion of another week bound to the house with a restless boy and no place to take him other than a bun-n-run playland. In Indy both our son and I have family, friends, and places we know and like to go, like the Children’s Museum.
The plan had been to move over to the home of some friends of ours after Christmas to make room for the next installment of my husband’s siblings to arrive with family. We stayed there Monday and Tuesday nights. Then came the on-again off-again dinner plans with my in-laws. It waffled back and forth at least 4 times, while my son played with his best friend from our old neighborhood. Those two little boys have missed each other so much, and they were so delighted to be together again. I think, with some assistance and cooperation by parents, they can be friends for a long time. I still have a couple of friends I made when I was in second grade, so why not my son?
On Wednesday morning, the nursing home called in regard to our friend’s mother. They thought she was getting ready to leave this earth. I simply assumed that we would have to decamp, either to make room for their suddenly summoned family or simply because there is a time when even the closest friend is an intrusion. So we made the necessary arrangements and betook ourselves to a hotel. Of course, Wednesday was the day I’d promised our son a trip to the Children’s Museum with his grandmother, and the day of the House Entropy Midwinter gathering. And we managed to do it all, without a problem. There were way too many people in the museum, and while it bothered our boychick somewhat, he managed to keep control of himself.
Thursday saw him playing with his buddy again, while my friend Li showed me how to do a full yoga routine that worked through and around all the wild and wondrous things I’ve done to my body over the years. For example, I can’t kneel flat down on one of my knees, so four-point stances aren’t possible. Li figured out how to convert them into seated exercises. I was amazed, and absolutely delighted. Then Thursday evening we stopped in to spend some time with Li, and finally went back to the hotel. That evening was the first sign of stress I saw in my son’s behavior, and it wasn’t particularly bad. He threw a minor snit, not a full tantrum.
And now we’re back at my in-laws, in their absence. They had a week’s trip to the West Indies scheduled, and left at an unholy hour this morning after the final family gathering last night, at which the last of the presents were distributed among the cousins. Only once a year, if we’re lucky, do we get all five cousins in the same place at the same time; last night was it for this year. Once again, our son was up a bit past his bedtime, and this morning he had yet to quite have his good temper back.
But that brings me to the best part of the week. Through all the changes, all the moves, all the uncertainties of what we were going to be doing on any given day, our son kept his equilibrium and took it all in stride. I am so proud of him I can’t begin to say it. Exactly this sort of switching-around is what caused the disastrous melt-down in June. I didn’t even see a hint of anything like that this trip. Granted, we’ve decided to stay home tonight because we’re seeing signs that the equilbrium is getting a wee bit shaky, but we’ve done something social every single evening until now. I think we’re seeing another quantum leap.
Tomorrow I’m going to try to see something more of Li and of our friend from Louisville, and take our son to see my parents one more time. And then we’ll be going home. It’s been a fabulous week. I’ve had time off, and good times with my kid both. I’ve spent time with the people I love. And I’m feeling re-charged and ready to tackle my life again. I’ve not felt this good in over a year. I think that’s the most wonderful thing of all.
Update: Since some of those who read this will have a pretty good idea who I was talking about: it turned out our friend’s mother had had a minor stroke, from which she had recovered 24 hours later. She’s in late-stage Alzheimer’s, so it was hard to tell the difference, but the next day she was up in her wheelchair, out in the lounge and talking more than she had in months. That had continued to be so as of Saturday, when we met our friends for lunch. They’re handling the roller-coaster as well as anyone can, but things are still pretty tightly wound. Those of you who know our son’s godparents, that’s the current status report. If and when anything happens, I’ll let you know.