Tales from the Shark Tank

I’ve gotten some very concerned e-mails about the friend that’s fighting anorexia. Something, somewhere got through to her. She’s going into an inpatient treatment center that specializes in eating disorders, going to Wisconsin to do so. She has made a positive decision that she wants to live, and none too soon. I’m very proud of her; it’s a hard thing to do. And while she’s not out of the woods yet, at least there’s a visible path.

It’s been six weeks since I last got bitten by a migraine. Six absolutely lovely weeks, and in that time I had actually managed to put out of my mind how miserable those things are. Now I have been reminded. If it was going to happen, this was the weather for it, as it went from lovely, sunny and warm to cool and rainy as spring normally is overnight. I could have done without the reminder though, I must say. I think the thing I resent most is the entire loss the day is…or at least what feels like the loss of the day. Objectively, some necessary and/ or promised things did get done, but it feels like nothing, not least because my mind feels as if it’s mired in molasses as a side effect of the medication that knocks out the headache. My housemate got to the license branch to get her learner’s permit and title her car, and some things I Freecycled got where they were going. But all I want to do is sleep, and it’s simply not an option. It’s times like this that single-parenting is the toughest.

I have a terrible time getting rid of stuff. For some reason, I need to know it will go to someone who needs it. That way I’m not “throwing away” something good. I don’t have quite as bad a case of pack-rat-itis as my folks, but it’s becoming a near-run thing.

Enter Freecycle. I began reading posts, and started noticing requests for which I had the answer. A lawnmower. (Yes, we had two, one we bought and one we got from friends when ours went out in early spring.) A rocking-horse that Joseph had outgrown. I threw in a toddler-sized pop-up tent with that one, and absolutely floored the family that got it. Now I’ve got a set of golf clubs that my husband had good intentions of learning to use but never touched sitting beside the front door awaiting pick up. It takes as much time to answer the e-mails as it did to load the car and do the Goodwill run, but for some reason I’ll do this where Goodwilling has been more likely to get put off for a more convenient time that never seems to come. And I’m seeing the space reappear as I do it.

The folks who’ve gotten my stuff seem to think me incredibly generous. To my way of thinking they’ve done me the favor, by getting this stuff out of my overwhelmed house. I hate to tell them, but this isn’t generousity. It’s self-preservation.

Update I was looking out the window and saw a little pick-up truck cruise by, with a dog poking its head out the window in the back. About 2 minutes later, the phone rang. The woman seeking the golf clubs had got lost in the subdivision, which is very easy to do since all the streets are named “Cardinal Cove”. Brilliant, no? So I asked if she drove a truck and had a dog that had its head out the back window. Why yes, she said, she did. The next time the truck came by, I was standing in front of the house and waved. The golf clubs are gone, and I’ve had my amusing encounter of the day. I should have expected it. The airforce tries to “stealth” its planes. Me? I seem to have a stealth house.

If I were a bird, I would be in search of a roosting place. My husband has a sister who lives in England, though I can never remember the name of the village she’s in. She and her husband and son visit the States annually in early April. Of course, when they come in, the other sister also comes, from Colorado. Add that to the brother who lives in town, and you have 4 kids, all their spouses, and a total of 5 offspring in assorted sizes. And it’s a lovely close family, so they take every opportunity to hang out together.

The end result? Party of 12 for the zoo train. (L’s husband took the opportunity to do some work.) In fact, we spent five hours at the zoo and only had to use cell phones to regather a little clump that split off once. I who am entirely too well accustomed to herding crickets was in awe. Entire family gathered for dinner at brother and sister-in-law’s house. Entire family gathered at my in-laws for dinner another evening. Brunch and tennis, again at my in-law’s, earlier today. Mediating for the oldest cousin, who took “be careful of the babies” for “you can’t play, you’re too rough”. My solution was to find out what he wanted to play on (the swing), and stand between it and everything else, heading off and redirecting toddlers and preschoolers as needed. Cheering my son as he hit tennis balls thrown gently by his uncle. Teaching my nieces to play dominos, and not so co-incidentally to match numbers. Keeping a straight face as the older niece (all of four) told Joseph very sternly that he had been rude to his mother and should apologize. (He did.) Rejoicing to see my son figure out when and to whom to give hugs. Searching for Pooh-Bear all over a house you could fit mine into at least 4 times, because one child couldn’t sleep without it. Generally neither pausing to think nor sit still (except for dominoes and dinners) for four days now. I love this family, and I’ve had a wonderful time. But y’know, I’m more than ready for a quiet place to roost now. And the sleepy chirps? That would be me.

I find myself both annoyed and amused. My phone service has been down since yesterday mid-day. The repairman has been out this morning to test it, and has determined only that it’s somewhere in the buried cable that services the neighborhood. I’m glad to know it’s not in the house, as some of my phone jacks are pretty inacessible, but having it in the cable means that when I will again have phone service is in the lap of the gods. This is annoying.

But I am not cut off from all communication thereby. I still have my internet access courtesy of cable broad band and my magic laptop, and I still have my cell phone. So while it’s inconvenient, it’s hardly crippling. Given that, I’m laughing at myself for my first semi-panicked reaction. There’s nothing to panic about. Technology being what it is, it’s really no more than a petty irritation.

Update: As of 11:00 a.m., it’s fixed. Thankfully, none of the messages left while the phone was hors de combat were urgent. We now return you to …. no, wait, wrong medium.

There are many signs that spring has sprung. Daffodils are either in bloom (in my neighbors’ yards) or preparing for it (in mine.) The willows are green, and the other trees in bloom. Kids on bikes have also sprouted, and this looks like it might actually be the one year in four that the magnolias some intrepid souls have put in don’t get their flowers frostbitten. But the clearest sign of all is from the ducks.

My son, like many kids, likes the crusts removed from his sandwich bread. Like many parents before me, I oblige, deeming it not worthy of argument. But rather than throw the crusts away, I collect them in a plastic bag to serve as duck fodder. Yesterday we gathered up the bag and wandered back to the tree farm behind our house, which features a pond inhabited by the ubiquitous avians. For whatever reason, there were but three ducks in the pond, two boys and one girl. None of them could be bothered to come to shore and accept a small boy’s offerings of stale bread, though he called and quacked valiantly. The chick was interested only in evading the dudes, and the dudes were interested alternately in attracting the attention of the chick or pushing each other either underwater or out of the pond. I’m telling you, there was room for absolutely nothing in those bird-brains but sex and violence. Even free food had no charms. There is no clearer harbinger of spring.

My yard needs a haircut. It’s looking particularly shaggy because the wild garlic is at its newly sprouted, tender best. Other people may measure spring by the appearance of the robins. I measure it by the appearance of daffodils and garlic grass. We took full advantage of that tonight, picking a good handful and chopping it to spread on fresh veggies with some olive oil and lemon juice and roasting them. I’m telling you, that was serious food. Yum!